We all know them … what I call the highly functioning “walking wounded”.
You might live or work with one … you might even be one. I was. I was one of the highly functioning, walking wounded.
What does that look like?
Basically, people, who are wrestling with difficult emotions yet still keeping it together to the outside world. Like I used to, they navigate society convincingly (convincingly enough) on the job, in social groups, in organizations. They can be accomplished, absolutely … teachers, judges, police officers, politicians.
Hell, they may even be the CEO (or the U.S. president).
But, when you’re emotionally wounded, keeping it together and keeping up appearances takes its toll.
We all know examples of the “easy-going” boss who’s easy-going until he or she pops their top. Then they’re a real asshole – and the big deal is you never know when it’s gonna happen. When they’re gonna explode.
Or the friend who downs a a bottle of wine every night (in order to numb their difficult emotions) and then gets out of bed in the mornings and runs a practice or a business.
Or someone who’s nice enough and fun enough but you can’t trust them to tell you the truth as they’re always trying to impress you and others with their wit or intelligence.
Welcome to the Land of the Highly Functioning, Walking Wounded
There are many other ways people express their woundings. These are just a few examples. You can probably name some off the top of your head.
In the mental health community, they might refer to this as a “personality disorder”. But, I believe, as it was for me, most of these people are really wrestling with difficult “out of control” emotions that need to be healed.
Let me tell you about me.
When I was growing up, the messages I got from the adults who took care of me – countless messages that were both spoken and unspoken – reinforced that I didn’t matter, that I was worthless, that basically the little girl I was, was never going to be good enough.
Now, feeling worthless, I could have gone one of two ways with that number being laid on me. I could have crawled in a hole, curled up in a fetal position and basically give up. Depression, sadness, guilt and repressed anger are examples of that.
Or I could take on the assignment that, since I am so inadequate, I’m compelled to do everything within my ability to MAKE people believe that I am worthy – so I must continue to try to prove that I’m worthy. It’s a form of depression to be sure – we call it a cold depression wherein the sheer terror of giving up to the idea of being marginalized is overwhelming. We stagger in a dazed, state of confusion. Lizard brain I call it.
And we can also go back and forth between the two … the hurt we feel, either being repressed or expressed.
Mostly, I struggled outwardly to seek validation – in a very high-profile sort of way. I became a TV news reporter and anchor.
Duh. What better way to seek attention? “I’m on TV, people recognize me, they tell me I’m smart, I’m pretty, I matter.”
I’m continually fed from the outside with admiration and approval.
Man, I did that for years, for decades. Like a beggar, continuously asking, “Will you like me? Will you respect me? Accept me?”
You see an armchair version of this all the time on Facebook. “Look at me. Look at how sexy or perky or accomplished or smart I am.”
How many “likes” did I get? How many Facebook friends do I have? It can become an addiction because it fills our need for attention – for approval seeking.
But the dirty little secret is … no matter how much the outside world “approves” of you or likes you or thinks you’re uber-successful …. It’s never enough. Because deep, down in side, YOU DON’T BELIEVE that you’re worthy.
That can all change if you want it to
If you’re at the point of not wanting those yucky feelings anymore, your assignment (and the way I see it, the most important assignment in our lives), is to get right with yourself and that means healing those emotional wounds.
When that begins happening, a new world opens up to you. Because when you can say, “I’m filled up with self-love” then you are complete. And it won’t matter to you who likes you and who doesn’t. Because, after you’ve done the work, you really do like yourself, love yourself.
And everything follows from there, when you love yourself, people are attracted to you. And you can love others more deeply because you’ve reached that place within yourself. And it feels so good.
I want you to have this and that’s why I’ve created “Cannabis Ceremonies”
They’re the same ancient practices of vigorous and cleansing body and breath play with the delicate support of cannabis, that I used to help heal myself.
So, if participating in a cannabis ceremony calls to you, I want you to be in touch.
Subscribe here if you haven’t already so we’re connected.
My Cannabis Ceremonies are well underway here in Denver and I’m working to be able to do these with you over the Internet. So get ready to bring your willingness for self-exploration and I’ll be in touch.
And you be in touch too – I love to get your thoughts.
I’m here with you and for you,
MEDICAL DISCLAIMER: Nothing in this video should be taken as medical advice or encouragement to consume cannabis, especially where it’s illegal. In fact, for this video and everything else in your world, always check in with YOURSELF before acting based on anything you read, hear or watch.